Is Marriage the Peak of Life Success? Or Just Another Relationship?

In a society like Africa, where we’re very communal (well, until more recently when everyone is turning towards individualism), it’s easy to connote marriage as the peak of possible social relationship.

And perhaps that’s why marriage is often presented as the ultimate destination: the relationship you’re expected to eventually graduate into; the “final bus stop”. As though every other relationship is simply preparation for it.

Yes, I understand the nakedness that is shared, and that is deemed the peak of it all.

But is that really what makes marriage the highest form of relationship?

…because, do people don’t engage in sexual relationships outside the confines of marriage? Of course, I’m an advocate of chastity and modesty, not party to fornication or adultery, right, but also not in denial of their existence. It’s been since the Bible times!!!

That said, does that not mean everything you can share in marriage, you can share with someone else whom you’re not married to?

You can have life goals with friends.

You can plan trips.

You can have businesses.

You can grow your kids or others’ without being married to their other parent.

You can co-habit with friends who you aren’t married to.

You can be vulnerable with friends.

Your friends can make you have belly-hurting laughs.

You can have goofy friends.

So, what’s up?

What’s the hype?

There are 5 pillars to life:

• Health
• Relationship
• Spirituality
• Finance
• Work

…I believe I got those right.

And in perfect ratio, each carries about 20% weight of importance. Thus, leaving marriage in the “relationship” bag, and trust me, it’s not occupying that space alone. Friendship, family, acquaintances, colleagues, are all sharing that space with marriage.

So, you see?

Marriage isn’t entirely the core of life, and certainly not the sole member of the ‘social relationship’ association.

PS, this isn’t an anti-marriage read.

Trust me, marriage is beautiful, especially when you’re in it with your person; someone who is just yours, true and through; who you have every clingy right over, and all the sweet things you can imagine.

But it’s not the most meaningful life success or relationship you can have.

Marriage shouldn’t have to be your entire social world!!!

Ofcourse, your spouse can be your lover, best friend, business partner, therapist, travel buddy, social circle, emotional support system, literally your entire world. But, is that fair on one person though?

Plus, it takes someone who knows how to have and keep other meaningful relationships to actually keep a marriage bubbly, happy, peaceful and lasting.

Invest in yourself.

Have a relationship with you.

…and with others.

There’s life before, in, and out of marriage.

Selah!!!

Iyanuoluwa Araba 🤗🤗