Eyilz' Pen

"What a man can do, a woman can do" is one saying females are quick to. Some of us even make ours longer with a few extra words, "what a man can do, a woman can do MUCH MORE BETTER." Smiles. Why do I feel you guys think I'm talking about me? Well, maybe...but that was in the past. Hey!!! It doesn't mean the statement is false, more like, it's a regular one, no biggie about it. It's like saying "JUICE/ANY KIND OF DRINK IS SWEETER THAN WATER." Like, who doesn't know that? But does that mean you can forever delete water from your list? It's a NO!!! They all serve their purpose, they are complimentary, not unhealthy rivals. In the same vein, MEN and WOMEN ARE ON EARTH TO COMPLIMENT ONE ANOTHER, THEY ARE NOT COMPETITORS!!! Maybe my water/juice analogy doesn't even qualify it, cos we can still decide to do away with the supplement (juice), but never with water. I said my analogy may have a loophole 'cos no one gender can do with...

 Hello... If you're conversant with my page, you'll know my favourite article, and it seems it's many others' favorite too; the girl who aged faster than her age (judging by reviews). So, yes, then, it was pure fiction, but now, it's so reallllllllll; first hand experience you know... Yeah, that is the beautiful night picture of my state (I'm still in the far north for my national youth service. Yeah, I got trapped in here despite the pandemic. It's a too long distance from home and flight ticket is quite a fortune for me at the moment). That's was taken yesterday night actually, I was outside the gate, enjoying the bliss and calm that comes with the night. Yeah, not much bustles here, it's more quiet... HOMEOF PEACE!!!  And it happened that in the midst of this beauty, some culture isn't as beautiful. CHILD MARRIAGE!!! The culture here is one that really respect/submerge, subvert, silence females. The use of the two contradictory verbs are deli...

Guyssssssss!!! 🤗🤗 This one is a personal gist... So, I made black pie today ☺☺ My first pie ever you know? And then I went creative on it 😁😁 I truly was feeling like an angel watching men act (hehehehehe, felt so on top of 'da' world, so high 😁) . I MADE BLACK PIEEEEEEE EE!!!  💃💃💃💃😂   It was birthed out of a playful spirit tho and ion regret making her ❤❤ I'd have regretted it if I changed my mind tho, 'cos I almost did. My pie met with both lovers and nonlovers tho 'cos I did put her on my WhatsApp story, but then, I'm unbothered, it's what I enjoyed doing. Lol. I almost couldn't eat it myself you know? But dhurrr, I did and it was so yuuuuuuuummmmy 😋😋 And it was  black inside out, so you can't even scrape the cover off 😂😂 You take it all in; hook, line and sinker baby 😁😁 (last slide for a glimpse of what the insides looked like). Funny thing is, everyone's asking for the recipe. I ain't telling y'all nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️😋😋 ...

It's fiction time. Who's excited? Well, I am💃💃💃💃💃💃💃 Okay. Let's dive right in. ... Alex, the core of happening guys on campus. Student Union secretary. No lady would mind having one or two 'entanglements' with him. Shell, Alex's very good friend. Life of the party. Smart, beautiful, petite and with a enviable disposition to life. No one has a dull moment with Shell, and it's all drab when Shell is 'nowhere to be found.' Going by Alex's status, Shell shouldn't be a too hard a nut to crack. Coupled with the fact that they've been friends for a while now. Little did he know Shell is not in his 'entangleable' list. She doesn't even have the time to spare to guys, she's all about the grades. The academic session is ended. Alex and his group of friends threw a party at their lodge. Shell came over, remember, she's the life of the party. Few hours into the party, Alex walked up to her and asked to see ...

I truly had plans to be super consistent with writing this 2020. I even planned to write a lot of fiction, but I have not kept to my words. I've had this particular one since January, but I wouldn't upload it. It is too nice to share, I thought. And I feared plagiarism, lol. But then, I can't keep hiding this beauty in my archives. I was helping an acquaintance do a voice over for a poem on early marriage and the inspiration for this came on me... So... Let's talk early marriage... Fiction tho... ... If I'd known this is what this world has in store for females I'd have come in a masculine body No! I take that back I'd have just stayed back with God and the angels I was born into a family of four, minus mum and dad All four were females, father was sad He was never around, he later went off with 'her' The family cared less, what good does a girlchild bring? I think they married dad off anyway... Long story short, mama couldn...

So it rained a bit again today. Did I tell you guys what rain is like here? It's like two hours of sand storm, then two minutes of drizzling. Lol, a guy friend actually likened it to ''Angels miturating'', unlike the ''God bathing'' in other parts of Nigeria. Anyway, this lil rain is accompanied with harmattan sometimes and I'm so  awkwardly excited 😂😂 The 'me' that is always at the verge of shedding my skin so that I get enough breeze is now in a pullover and blanket and I'm so loving it 😁 And yes, the first time it rained in B city was on the 3rd of May, a Sunday. Although it was more of drizzles than rain. It was still the first waters falling from the sky though, so it can pass. In addition to the fact that it was refreshing. Guys in my lodge had to play football in the rain, they could not afford to let any raindrop slip without touching their skin. Funny thing is, some places didn't even get to enjoy the drizzling...

Kikikikiki (sorry I had to start off on laughs. I'll let you in later) Hy guys... Ok, I thought I was gonna keep my northern experience to myself then give you guys a massive wrap after my service year. But then, I recently realized I'll lose originality. So, maybe I'll be more consistent now... Lol. Ok. To why I started off on laughs. It was sallah on Monday and Tuesday, Eid Mubarak. And y'all know baby girl is in the far north. So she experienced sallah 'inna' grand style like never before. A state where 98 out of 100 are Muslims. It was a WOW! For a place where you barely see their females (I really don't know how to dive into that now), come sallah, I saw enough beautiful ladies to last me a life time. Some 'made ups' (I mean makeups. Was just trying to be sarcastic 🌚) that left my tongue in it's roof, and some dressings... Almost 12 kids on uniform celebration wear? My Father. I wasn't with my phone, I'd have taken pictures ...

Been a long while coming yeah? I'm so sorry I've been off for soooooooooo long. Anyway, this isn't really much. Just some random thoughts penned... (I know some might decide to crucify me for this, but then, aren't we all entitled to our opinions? 🤷🏻‍♀️) Ok. Let's dive in. So, I was chatting with a friend on the hot afternoon of 21st May, 2020 (a super hot afternoon in Northern Nigeria. Some 42/45°C kind of hot 😭😭😭😭😭). I really can't remember what the chat was all about tho (you know your favourite girl can be talky sometimes 😋). All I know is, we agreed on something in the course of the conversation; ''NAKEDNESS IS UGLY.'' Funny thing is, I've always thought I've been the only one with this opinion. How do I even go about explaining this? 🤦🏻‍♀️ God is just awesome in His ways. How many times do you look at yourself or a same sex roommate and try to pick out the beauty or sexiness in your body or theirs? Well, maybe ...

...and on the 25th of November, camp ended with a POP (Passing Out Parade). Our joys knew no bounds bro, we couldn't wait to leave. Although, maybe in our ecstasy, we forgot leaving camp was leaving camp made friends. Yeah, for the second time in my life, I made friends in less than three weeks, guy and girlfriends and I still don't regret the relationships. Well, I shed a few tear (lots of us redeployed anyway 'cos the the security threat in our deployed state, that is Borno State. One of the reasons we camped at Katsina State instead of Borno state itself). Lol, yeah, you now know why our Mr. Macho contestant said Borno state is bordered by China. Lol. The state is the farthest in North Eastern Nigeria anyway. Bro maybe thought the next state is an Asian one, a Chinese one in particular. Anyway, I didn't leave camp till the 26th, I didn't want to have a night trip, so... And I was going on a 10hour thereabout trip. So, the next day, I left camp, together with o...

😂😂 Shocked? Nah, no need to be, I'll break it down. So, I was in platoon three on camp. Some preferred to call it 'three platoon' (whatever brings allawee to our accounts 🤷🏻‍♀ So, I'm not going to elongate things. Summary is, my platoon was the most populous on camp. Why? 'Cos we f'd up in all competitions and we could even care less 😂 (well, some of us did care, you know the taunts and all, some were really frustrated. Some people equally match up in frustrating others, so, I wouldn't blame no one). Lol. The dance competition was the craziest and funniest. I was part of those presenting anyway, so, we were all in it. Prior to our presentation, I'd bragged to my roommates about our awesome presentation. I even advised them to be present and not attempt hiding that particular night. Yeah, night. Remember the 8-10.30 pm social night? Yeah, that's where all the fun stuffs take place. Where we cool off the tension of the day. Long story sh...

Lol. Yh, this is a fuller of the previous chat. And since that was 'NYSC CAMPING EXPERIENCE IN FULL', and this is the continuation, then this' the fuller version 💁 (Please don't mind me, I just kinda ran out of titles, so... We'll make do with that for now, biko {'biko' is please in Igbo language}. Damn, I'm getting to pick a little of all major Nigerian languages 😎). So, I got to my camp ground at approximately 3pm, Nigerian time. Then went for my registration, a lil bit of crosschecking of documents here and there, some form filling, passport stapling, then I got my kits and settled myself in a room of 16 (was the third to get to my room). Well, my roommates happened to be really cool people. We got so used to ourselves that I sometimes forgot we were up to 16 in the room; we were bounded into one. Yeah, the kits, I know you'd ask. It comprised of the NYSC jacket, trouser, cap, belt, khaki boots, 2 pair of socks, a crested vest (our popular ...

...yeah, to next... Errr, a lil something to say. Lol. So I went to camp with this two weeks old hair I already got tired of. It's a Ghana weaving, a style I've been fantasizing for over 6 months, but I'm surprisingly tired of. Why? Well, the hairdresser... There's this thing, I'm kinda hard to satisfy with hair, so, I make hair very often. And on those few occasions, I make sure I have enough cash that'll give me my heart desire, hair wise... So, I bought enough hair extensions and all. Alas! My regular hairdresser has changed location, so I couldn't possibly get her to make this fine hair for me (my graduation hair 😭😭😭😭😭). So, an alternative right? Well, this woman is good too, but over economizes 🙄 She used lesser hair extension in particular, giving a scanty hair as end product; you could see my scalp 😭😭 So much for special hairdo. And then, the hair tip wasn't so neatly made as I love it (do you know I have the least idea of hair making, ...

So, first thing I noticed was the neat roads. You'd think everywhere will be littered, but trust you. I can almost tell you I didn't see a satchet water wrap dropping on the road in all three hours (you'll think I'm exaggerating...) Well, maybe I didn't notice them tho. But one thing is, I didn't even slumber, so sleeping off is ticked off the list. (My non-Nigerian audience will think it's no biggie. But sweethearts, in this part of the world, it is. I mean, why do you need trash bags or bins when the roads are there to cast your refuse on? Everywhere is a refusedump 🙄 God save us from people who wouldn't help keep our Nigeria clean, Amen!!!) Have I told you of how organized these people are? Northerners? Well, again, I've never come across such at my side (maybe there are such instances, but I never came across them.) For instance, the very first fuel station we branched was issuing receipt. For petrol bro, petrol. I was awed. The driver even ...

Holla, holla, holla people! 😎😎 Miss me ? So, let's ride this rollercoaster. Whatyasay? Yes, I met this man onboard, Mr M (yeah, we're playing letter names 🤗), he made some calls and that gave him out as an Hausa man, and yes, he automatically became my 'tour guide.' He helped myself and two other corp members get a taxi that took us all to our individual parks (I was to go to Katsina camp, another was to go to Kano camp while the third lady was going to... Was it Jigawa? Or Taraba? I really can't remember 😒) Dhurr, summary is, he was of immense help to us. He only left for his park after ensuring we were safely tucked into the buses 'jetting' us to our camps. He even paid for the drop 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (his niceness is what's making the tears flow, lol). Lol, funny thing is, not one of us had the slightest idea of the Hausa language Mr. M and the driver were communicating in, so we just kept our cool and watched. Both even argued a bit over tran...

Ok... I'm supposed to have done this earlier. Like, way earlier, but then... I really shouldn't use procrastination as an excuse again right? It's cliché. Trust me, ion have no excuse. Errr, I'll love to share my NYSC camping experience, yayyyyy! (Well, maybe a bit of the fullblown NYSC tho, since this is coming much later after camp. All the experiences have kind of intertwined). NYSC is the Nigerian Youth Service Corp, a scheme that came to life in May 1973 by the Gen. Yakubu Gowon, to include Nigerian graduates in the process of developing the Nigerian nation and it lasts for a one year period. (Errm, you can read up on NYSC for more info, so we save time 🤗🤗 Thanks lovelies). Well, it all started on the 2nd of November, around 1am thereabout (it was my birthday, so how could I possibly forget 😎). So, this' how the NYSC thing works, you register (say 2/3weeks earlier, after which you'll be mobilized to serve the country in one of the 36 states that mak...

So... Yes. I saw this and I couldn't ignore. The baby 😥😥😥😥 Men are suffering, children are dying, mothers watching their children in pain, hungry, unable to help the situation, sometimes considering euthanasia. The fun part is, amongst these people, you'll see the overfed, who eat and throw away, who have a thousand reason to not lift a finger to help these needy... Humans, high time we became humane. Yes, this isn't about the jokes, not long notes... And maybe I don't even know what direction this page is going... As long as I'm writing, it's all that matter (professionally or not), it's my pen and paper... EyilZ