Eyilz' Pen

If you’re a frequent visitor here, and will pass as “my fan”, then you already know that I try to write from what I’ve experienced, or close enough to have been experienced. You know, there’s something my cousin brother once told me. He might have forgotten, or not, but I didn’t, ’cos of course, he mentioned it while advising me at a time. What kind of sister would I be to forget the advice of my beloved brother? He said, paraphrased, “Your colleagues are not your friends…” Again, I came across a post today that says, “…if you’re laid off from work today, no one from work will call you after one week…” And trust me, I agree. However, as much as I subscribe to that school of thought, I’d also love to say there are exceptions to every rule. We’re humans, after all, and of course, we have relationships outside our immediate family. You know, the family we choose? Those unrelated to us by blood? The ones we fondly call “friends?” Some, we make earlier on in life, as children. Some, muc...

Know what the irony is? This write-up has been sitting in my draft for almost a week. What a classy way to write on procrastination — by procrastinating. One more? I ought to go see my professor today about my postgraduate thesis. You can already guess what happened? I was about to postpone. Again. The word is  procrastination , yet again. Okay, last instance. I’ve been meaning to start reading Adam Smith’s  The Wealth of Nations . You know, academic classics are best studied when there’s no academic need for them. Else!!! Well, let me not generalise. I know my readers are scholars. However, would you believe me if I said I’m actually someone who does things as and when necessary? Well, I try my best. And I’ve recorded more successes in recent times. It almost feels like the Spirit of God is holding me by the hand. When you do things right, and in a timely manner, everything seems to fall in place. It makes you think you somehow had foresight of what was about to happen. Becau...

Of recent, I’ve been all ‘epiphany moment’, ‘realization came upon me’ and all that. Today, we’re changing the narration, and moving to inspiration. And this inspiration occurred in the kitchen, while washing dishes (who knew chores could produce creative results? LOL). The thought came. “...we’re saying people, men especially, don’t know ‘No means No’,  so boy mums are teaching their sons the importance of respecting boundaries, while responsible men are trying to respect women’s choices. In the same vein, women, most times, want to throw men (mostly their significant others) on a wild chase. ‘He should know what he did wrong’, ‘he should be able to know what I’m thinking’, ‘he should this and that’. Now, there’s a conflict. If the man in question is one of the few  who’s  being retrained and working towards being a gentleman, you would automatically believe he doesn’t care about you the way you thought, because, of course, you said you needed bo...

Let me let you into my head for a bit. Well, if you’ve been on this page, you’ve definitely been there before, so maybe this isn’t your first time. But I’m curious. Has it been a privilege? Have you loved it here? Well, if you’re still here, still reading, and have made it through at least one of my posts, I believe you must love it here. It’s warm. LOL. Anyway, a little gist. Or, another epiphany moment. I only realised on the 17th of September, 2026, that my amygdala has been overshadowing my prefrontal cortex for pretty much all of September. And it really does explain the roller coaster I’ve found myself on lately. With friendships. With ‘love’. With family. Google says I can blame it on a poor sleep pattern, among other things. Guess I’m doing just that. Because how am I on my device, putting up this article at 3:17 a.m.? Know what’s crazier? I have exams in three days, but my prefrontal cortex isn’t even bothered. Man be sitting pretty, watching the amygdala hijack unfold. Be...

You guyssssssssssss!!! A realization just hit me. What’s it called again? Okay, I just searched the World Wide Web, it’s called an “epiphany or ‘aha’ moment or a eureka moment.’ Lol. Ofcourse, I got all the possible names, it’s AI, always oversharing, poor guy. The realization hit when I entered the bathroom for a late night shower (at this point, creatives should be idolizing their bathrooms, ‘cos, we’ve all heard or better still, experienced the creative power of that house at a point or the other in our lives). Anyway, to the deal… …just realized (okay, maybe more like ‘reconfirmed’) that we always know what traits we won’t be able to keep up with in other people, friends or partners, but we stay with them regardless, hoping they’ll change. Stay with me. So you have a friend, a partner, with character trait A, which you cannot stand. Maybe not necessarily a vice, just, something that maybe ticks you off, triggers a part of you, makes you feel unseen, unheard, whatever - overall, not...

For the longest time, I wondered when it would be my time, my turn, to have a “bestie”, a best friend. The one I could tell anything and everything. You know, your darkest realities; your lowest heights, your “fakest truth.” Then there was a time during my university years that I almost forced one, that I actually forced one. (Or, did I?) Anyway, it crashed, FLAT! Eventually, I gave up. Maybe the whole “one friend fits all” thing is not just my thing to have. …maybe not all of us will get lucky with one? …maybe there’s just so much love for my kind to give? To share? Lol. Even I doubt if that was/is the case, with all of this bad character. (Jokes, I’m a sweet girl.) Anyway!!! I eventually accepted fate, moved on with life; not searching for love, nor friendship. I stayed with being a good person, a good human (as best as I could…) ALAS! It found me. Friendship found me. Love found me. And then I realized: “Bestie” is not necessaril...

In a society like Africa, where we’re very communal (well, until more recently when everyone is turning towards individualism), it’s easy to connote marriage as the peak of possible social relationship. And perhaps that’s why marriage is often presented as the ultimate destination: the relationship you’re expected to eventually graduate into; the “final bus stop”. As though every other relationship is simply preparation for it. Yes, I understand the nakedness that is shared, and that is deemed the peak of it all. But is that really what makes marriage the highest form of relationship? …because ,  do people don’t engage in sexual relationships outside the confines of marriage? Of course, I’m an advocate of chastity and modesty, not party to fornication or adultery, right, but also not in denial of their existence. It’s been since the Bible times!!! That said, does that not mean everything you can share in marriage, you can share with someone else whom you’re not married to? You can ...